What a literal photo yeah?
Got an email a few days back from a lovely reader who’s just decided to join us in this journey💃 , asking me on ways to occupy herself in order to avoid premarital sex.
Quite an interesting and very understandable question. When you’re used to being sexually active, it can be quite challenging to deprive yourself of what you’re used to.
Nevertheless, we gotta do the right thing yeah?
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
But before we do, let’s rephrase the question a bit.
Let’s make it…..THINGS TO DO WHILE YOU WAIT
Hold up now, these are things everyone should actually do, at the same time these tips will help focus your thoughts on things other than premarital sex. Remember, what you think about predominantly becomes the dominant thing in your life, thus if you can change the focus of your thought pattern, avoiding premarital sex will gradually become easier.
These will help you while waiting….okay, okay, let’s do this!
Yeah yeah, you know I like me some work out time. Working out is a great way to kill time plus you gain a lot from it….it reduces your risk of getting a heart disease (and other diseases as well), increases your strength and flexibility, boosts your self-confidence and immune system, it gives you a mental push – imagine if you pushed past that “physical limit” you thought you had, you begin to ask yourself “what other things can I actually accomplish?” and do I really need to mention this one? You get to have that “bod” you keep dreaming about! Yassss!!!
What more? It helps you in the next thing I’m going to discuss (setting and achieving goals). How? You get used to achieving goals you set for yourself. For example, you set a goal to exercise 3 times a week or a goal to run for 45 minutes nonstop on the treadmill, now that’s a good way to achieve the “goal getter” mindset.
SET GOALS AND WORK ON THEM;
Or work on goals that only see the light of day when you open your goal book. Stop with the procrastination!! (raise your hand if you think/used to think that pro-cras-ti-na-tion was pronounced pro-cas-ti-na-tion – oh well, there goes one of my secrets 😀). Alright back to the discussion, Errrrr…hold up, where were we again?
Oh yes, the man/woman of action. Waiting is a great time to work on those projects you’ve been dreaming about. When you’re swamped with loads of work, it helps keep your mind off “it” for quite a while.
READ LIKE NO MAN’S BUSINESS
Self development cannot be understated. Read books (or watch videos or listen to audio – which ever way you learn best) that’ll motivate you – I know you have enough motivation to last a lifetime – but you still need to read. Increase your knowledge in areas you’re interested in, learn from the mistakes – or lack thereof – of others, no knowledge is a waste right?. Read the stories of people who have gone or going through celibacy (or whatever you’re going though).
“They say life is the best teacher. I totally agree, but it doesn’t have to be your life”. – Sommy Charles.
A NEW SKILL
Learn something you don’t know how to do or something you need to get better at like joining a culinary class, kick boxing or karate class. Choose whatever you want and see how it goes. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Staying busy can be really helpful when you’re trying to adjust to the “no sex-for-now” life.
An idle man is the devil’s workshop.
BUILD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
I know what you’re thinking; “how does being celibate help me build relationships?” Yes love, it does.You find out that when you get your mind “out of the gutter” when meeting new people or even with old friends, you get a better view of the person (not their body please – I said get your mind out of the gutter!) and see the individual for who he/she actually is other than just being a “sexual” being. Great relationships could come out from this, trust me.
Now, this kinda relates with the above point but I kept this as a point on it’s own for the couples.
I have an article on building intimacy, go check it out.
Being celibate helps you connect with your partner on a deeper and more intimate level, don’t get me wrong, having sex can do that for you as well, but let’s be honest though, how many minutes does it last? You still have so many hours, days, years, left to spend with that person. So, imagine if you can build an intimate relationship “without” the help of sex with your partner, I definitely believe you guys will have a great life together (especially when you add the sex to that later on🌝)
There’s so much more you can do but unfortunately I can’t write all in one post. I hope these helps.
Dare to defy the norm.
As always, leave a comment and share with your friends and family, and if you have more tips to share on how to kill time, feel free to leave a comment, I’d love to hear them. Let’s chat!