Hmmm, this is a huge one.
I know it’s your life and your business but can I interrupt a little bit?
Finding it hard to talk about this because so many people do this and it’s seen as no big deal.
Should you move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
“It reduces cost”. “We don’t have sex”. “We sleep in different rooms”. “We’re going to get married anyway”. “We have to live together first to see if we’re compatible”. “I need to know him/her better”. “I’m trying to save money”.
Come on now, we both know that if you’re staying together you ain’t sleeping in separate rooms. From “I slept off in his room” to “well it’s no big deal, it’s still the same house”.
In the midst of living together, you’re opening doors to more temptations. You can’t be living in the same space for months without ending up crossing boundaries (that’s if you have any). It’s hard enough dating and living separately and trying your best to keep your hands to yourself, then you come and live together???
Aahhh, that’s a recipe for disaster oh.
I’m also aware that sometimes you could find yourself in certain situations, like not having money for your own place or trying to save the allowance you get from your parents thereby, having to move in with your partner.
Now this is a touchy one because I’ve seen a couple of situations like this. I know being in this kind of situation can be quite hard on the person and personally, if i was in a situation like that, bae better propose to let me live with him.🙄
On a serious note, if you’re in a situation like this and you don’t have any other option like staying with a friend or church member, then by all means stay with your boyfriend or girlfriend until things are resolved – you can’t sleep outside.
Here’s the thing though, once you are back on your feet, don’t keep staying there. Move out.
I know he loves you and bla bla bla but you gotta leave after everything is resolved because you don’t want to keep invading his/her privacy or better still, fall into temptation …. it’s time to move.
Stop with the excuses.
“Well, why don’t I just finish what I started?” “He’s not complaining, is he?”
People have different reasons for moving in with their partner
The most common however is, I need to know if we are compatible or if I can stand spending the rest of my life him/her.
It’s like saying, “If you meet all my need or serve me well I’ll marry you”
You can’t practice marriage.
No matter how long you “practice” living together, you can never know/predict the things that’ll go down in the marriage years from now.
Living together could actually decrease your chances of getting married.
NB: I said COULD.
Ever heard the expression, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
Well that’s what living together before marriage could actually result to.
You’re living together already so what’s the hurry to get married?
The guys get what they want – sex and companionship – without giving what they dread – commitment.
Let me come back home a bit, there are some ladies that are still pretty young and not looking to get married soon. So the above point wouldn’t really appeal to them.
They just want to move in cause they are in love and want to be closer to him
Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t move in together;
- NO MORE MYSTERY
When you guys live separately, there’s always that sense of excitement when it’s time to see each other or pay a visit. But living together kinda kills that. It takes the excitement away. Living together gradually drizzle that away – I know what you thinking, “So does that mean no mystery in marriage?” We’ll discuss that some other day
You can get too tired. Nothing fresh anymore.
You fight over petty things; toilet sit, washing the dishes, etc
No pursuit, he doesn’t have to pursue you anymore. You guys don’t try to impress each other again and it gradually becomes boring.
You need space to grow.
You need to learn to be alone. Learn how to stand on your own and be your own person. You’ll miss out on a great part of your growth process by living together prematurely.
You hardly get to please yourself anymore, can’t watch what you want to watch, having to cook when you don’t feel like it, having to consult each other before doing stuffs.
Living independently gives you more room to do what you wanna do. I’m dating you I’m not married to you. why should I live like a wife?
What about your friends? You might think that oh my friends can still come over but with time, they might feel like they are intruding. So you still need your friends around and staying together might derail that. You’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to give up on your friendships.
- Statistics have shown that most couples who cohabit don’t end up getting married.
- It gives you more room to fall for the sin of fornication: YOU’LL HAVE SEX.
- Acting like a married couple when you’re not.
- Loosing Your Value
Yes I said that. You’ll lose it big time – of course you can regain it back. Here’s the thing, you living with a guy that you’re not married to blocks off other guys from your life. Okay so you’re wondering “why do I need other guys in my life when I have my man?” It’s because you’re not a taken woman yet and what happens if the relationship comes to an end?
So there you have it, moving in together isn’t the best choice to make.
To my lovely readers – what are your thoughts?
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