When it comes to dating, most people feel shy to ask certain questions. They don’t want to come off as too desperate. They really like the person, so they don’t want to ruin the possibility of a relationship by asking  questions that’ll open up a Pandora’s box. Some are scared of the answers they might receive.

Hold on for a minute, if you just want a fling, then this post definitely isn’t for you.

Anyway, regardless of your reasons for not wanting to ask certain questions, you have to take the bold step and ASK.

You have to know what you’re getting into before you go in too deep where it’d be harder to get out. For instance, she’s of a different tribe or from a different country; you have to know if she and her parents will be okay with it if things get really serious. You don’t want to date for years then when it’s time for marriage, you guys start having issues because of that.

I’m not saying start planning your wedding before you even start dating the guy, But you gotta know what you’re getting into before you invest your emotions in too deeply and besides I’m of the believe that if you can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with whoever you want to date, then there’s no use getting into the relationship – except you want a fling that is.


Okey Dokey. Let’s list some of the questions you should ask before getting into a relationship.



  • When was the last time you were in a relationship?

You need to know if the person you want to get into a relationship with could still be emotionally invested in the person he or she was previously dating. If it’s just been about a month or so from the break up of the previous relationship, I’d advice you wait a while. You don’t want to be a rebound, do you?


  • What’s your take on celibacy?

Obvious question right? Well, of course. I’m on this journey and I need someone that’s ready to ride on the same boat. Here’s the tricky thing; you got to be careful if the person says “I’m willing to become celibate for you”. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s possible for someone to become celibate because of you, but it’s quite a risky step to take. You have to make sure that the person is really willing to take that bold step and not just because of you. The person should make that decision for him or herself (meaning even if you guys don’t work out, he/she wouldn’t go right back to his/her old ways). Just be careful with that. Also find out why the person decided to become celibate.


  • What are your physical expectations?


I know we have covered the staying celibate bit, but as we all know, there are other physical things that do not necessarily involve sex. So you have to know what the person expects as normal. Maybe the person expects kisses, cuddling, some also expect things like anal and oral sex. So make sure you get all these out of the way before saying yes.


  • What are your general expectations from me?

For instance, I might not expect a call from bae every morning and night because it’s not what I’m used to, but he might want us to talk every single day. You have to know little things like these so some issues can be avoided. Or does he expect you to cook every other weekend?


  • Obstetrics history

Any abortions? Babies? Miscarriages?

Hold on now, I know the past doesn’t really matter. You just have to know what you’re getting into. If you’re the type who doesn’t want to know these details, Fine. It’s who the person is right now that matters right?


  • Anger issues? Addictions?

You gotta ask – or better still, find out – how the person acts when their angry. Does she throw stuffs? Gives the silent treatment for at least a week? Not that you can do anything about it at this stage but you just have to know. Then let the person know how you’d prefer handling conflicts in the relationship.




  • What’s his spiritual life like?

Is the person just a church goer or is she deeply invested in the church? Her personal relationship with God. Will this person be drawing you away from Christ or to Him? Every relationship does one of two things, Draw you closer to God or Away from Him. Don’t shy away from asking because spirituality is important. I love the way Myles Munroe put it:

We all relate to each other on three levels: Spirit, Mind and Body. This progression is very important. Healthy relationships should always begin at the spiritual and intellectual levels – the levels of purpose, motivation, interests, dreams and personality. The physical dimension is the least important of the three.


  • What’s your Genotype?

Knowing the person’s Genotype earlier on will save you a lot of heartache. We all know – at least, I hope we do – that genetic compatibility is really important when deciding to get married. So why not find out before you start dating?  Click here for more information on genotype and love. You’ll love it.



There are so many questions you can and should ask before committing yourself to anyone. You have your own values, so make sure whoever it is meets up to your standard.

Don’t cancel out important values you require in a person just because you developed some “feelings”.


I know some people might be thinking; Isn’t this a little too much? No honey, it isn’t. YOU HAVE TO GUARD YOUR HEART AND OPEN YOUR EYES.



To my lovely readers – Are there questions you think are necessary to ask? Please share with us in the comments section. I might just add some to my personal list.


Thank you for stopping by. Don’t keep to yourself! SHARE.



  1. That’s really true;to know about some important details before saying yes.
    Dear sommy what can you tell us about those who are already in the relationship and yet don’t know some few details about their lover.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Consolate. If you are already in a relationship, it’s never too late to ask the questions you need to ask. If there are things you are not sure about, ASK NOW before you go further into the relationship. Depending on the answers you get, you then have to decide if you want to continue with the relationship or not. DO NOT HIDE YOUR FEELINGS/WORRIES. IF THERE’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO KNOW, GO AHEAD AND ASK.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for this piece… the importance of this questions cannot be overemphasised , it’s helps avoid stories that touch. Also it’s important to be friends first before dating so we know each other better, I know being a good friend doesn’t equal being a good partner but friendship is a good foundation. Lastly, I know relationships come with compromise and sacrifices but our Godly principles are never to be compromised.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Very informative write-up 👌💯👏. These questions will definitely help one to look before leaping 👍.

    I think other questions that could be asked include 1) Why he/she is into you?. Sometimes people just date for dating sake. A guy might propose to a girl based on mere recommendation or because of peer pressure, family pressure,or just because he thinks age is no longer on his side and he needs to get married.
    2) For the ladies, I think it’s necessary to know the kind of family the guy comes from. Are they God fearing?. Their opinion on polygamy and childbearing? Are they very controlling?. Can the guy be able to make decisions (good decisions) regarding his wife/fiancee without been influenced negatively?.

    Liked by 1 person

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