Don’t Stop! It’s working…

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So you’ve been waiting for so long and it seems like nothing is happening.

The lady or man of your dreams hasn’t found you yet.

Nothing seems to be progressing.

The loneliness keeps creeping in.

And you ask yourself, “Is the wait worth it?”

 

Continue reading “Don’t Stop! It’s working…”

Finding The Love Of Your Life.

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Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone.

 

Today I’m gonna do a book review. Yes!!

If you haven’t been living under a rock you’d have heard of the book THE WAIT written by DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good.

Continue reading “Finding The Love Of Your Life.”

5 STORIES YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS || PART 2

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Hey guys! Hope ya’ll are doing great? Been a minute right? Was occupied for a while, but I’m back and ready to keep blowing your minds away!!!

No need for a long intro right? Let’s dive in 😚

I promised you guys I’ll post more beautiful and inspiring stories, I was extremely inspired by the previous stories and these are no different. Enjoy.

 

 

In my 3rd year in medical school, I told a guy I haven’t had sex before and he asked me; “Are you sure you’re complete? It’s so sweet, you should do it. If I don’t have sex in a week then there’s a big issue”.

Sometimes people mocked, laughed at and called me names and made me feel bad about not being sexually active, you have to realize that the pressure from people and the urge to explore your sexual feelings will always there , and it’s tough not to give in to that, and that’s why having a reason for doing what you do is important.

Some ladies also disregarded me because I have no sexual experience but I always keep in mind that I do what I do, for the greater good.

 I’m proud of myself because I don’t sleep around, I don’t spend unnecessarily – trying to please a lady to get her in bed – I’m also responsible.

Do what is right! Anything you can’t say out, or be proud of talking about it, is not right. 

                                                                                                                             – Anonymous 

 

 

The difference between not having sex and having sex is; You think about it, want it and have it and not having sex is; think about it, want it and not have it. Both are choices you have to make.

There are a lot of things you can do to take your mind off the thought, like going to the gym, pick up your phone and “call someone”, listen to some music, read, walk and hang out with friends, if they are of the opposite sex and you are not comfortable or think you might be tempted, I recommend public places like parks or a cafe.

This might sound weird but one of the reasons I’m not having sex is because I am helping others, for example; if a lady gets pregnant, I don’t suffer any consequences but she does, like drawing back from school, having to get an abortion…you know what ladies in that situation go through.

Having sex is not like the feeling of hunger, whereby, if you don’t eat, the feeling aggregates, with sex, the desire will definitely fade away even if the desire comes back, understand it’s normal, just like hunger, you still feel hungry.

Finally, If you are considering being celibate, it should be your choice. I’M SERIOUS. 

                                                                                                                                    – Anonymous 

 

 

So about my celibacy journey, I used to live life on the fast lane but I had to calm down, not because it did not fit me but because I actually wanted to focus on the spiritual than the physical. 

I was listening to pastor Sam Adeyemi one day and he talked about the covenant that takes place during sex and how blood is involved and it made a whole lot of sense to me, being a christian (church going) medical student😊. 

Sincerely speaking, it wasn’t the easiest decision to make back then because it looked like sex was the norm so I never mentioned it to anyone as I wanted to try myself if I could stand faithful. As I took my walk with God more passionately, I stood stronger and got to know a major code (fleeing). You must flee!

As for my benefits: 

  • I cant be called cheap by any lady.
  • Restored for wifey😂😂
  • It made me realize that anything could be achieved with a measure of determination. 

                                                                                                   – Dr. Niyi,Ukraine.

 

 

For me what pushes me to abstain from sex is the Word of God which says to stay away from fornication and also avoiding being in a relationship for too long, when you are in a relationship for long you will be tempted to fall into that temptation.

It’s not easy to abstain from sex once you’re in a relationship and that is why it is imperative that you be in a relationship with someone who has the same beliefs as you do, so together you both can talk about how to manage your relationship.

As for my benefits, spiritual things are more important to me now and in 1 Corinthians 7: 32-34 Paul stated that “he who is unmarried is careful for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord but he that is married is  careful for the things of the world, how he may please his wife…..” 

In the above verse, unmarried can easily be translated to celibate because an unmarried person has no business having sex. So I am definitely more dedicated to the matters of the Lord.

                                                                                                                           – Anonymous.

I was 11 years old when I made a commitment to remain celibate till marriage. It was a pact I made with some friends in school and while they may have been joking about it, I took it seriously as that decision was born out of my own personal values and morals. Of course that at time, I didn’t know the responsibilities that came with such a commitment..

Years later I became a Christian, and I realized that God was against premarital sex and that reinforced my commitment to celibacy. 

You see, I learnt early enough that: 

  1. Sex is a line that when crossed, I can’t go back
  2. Sexual purity comes at a cost (or better still, with some responsibilities). (I’ve had to consciously remove myself from compromising situations irrespective of how enticing it may be. I’ve had to create some distance with “friends” who don’t share the same values. I’ve had to endure mockery/slander by people I called friends, I’ve consciously removed movies, music and any other thing that may fill my mind with sexual thoughts 💭….). And it’s all WORTH it, because what I “lost” is in no way comparable to the peace and fulfillment that comes from being chaste.
  3. Sex is very spiritual. Thus, it shouldn’t be trivialized. I’d be lying if I say I haven’t had close calls, but I’ve learnt to say “NO” when my raging hormones say “GO”.

Romans 12:2 says “….Be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Because we live in a highly sexual world, I’ve learnt to deliberately and consistently renew my mind with God’s word when the things I see, hear (consciously or unconsciously) threatens to consume my mind with sexually explicit thoughts via movies, music and what have you.

And I’m better for it. I’ve grown as a woman, as a Christian and as a human being. I spend more time on personal, spiritual and career development. I’m surrounded by a circle of saved friends equally committed to excellence! I cannot settle for less.

Sex is definitely worth waiting for.

I can wait and I choose to wait. #CelibacyLife

                                                                                                          – Dr Nitadz, Nigeria.

 

So beautiful! I really hope you were inspired by these stories. Here are a few take-outs:

  • You have to learn to say No when your raging hormones are screaming YES.
  • It won’t be easy but you have to constantly remind your self of the reason you started in the first place.
  • Anything you wouldn’t be proud of talking about is something you shouldn’t be doing.

 

WOW! I feel like reading more stories!!! Do you? If you’d like more stories, let me know. DO share some of your take-outs from the stories, if anything stood out for you, let us know. 

Thank you so much for reading. Don’t forget to LIKE, SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE to my blog. 

 

Sommy xo

HELPFUL TIPS ON HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF.

Hey lovelies, How are you all doing?

I know this is coming late, but, better late than never right?

HAPPY EASTER!! I had a beautiful Easter celebration in church. You do realize that the death and resurrection of Christ is the bedrock of Christianity yeah? Because without His death and most importantly His resurrection, we wouldn’t have the life we have now “…..I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly. (John 10:10)”

So, be full of joy and peace because He has won the victory for YOU!
Continue reading “HELPFUL TIPS ON HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF.”

LIFE WITHOUT SEX – HOW BAD COULD IT BE? || PART 1

Hi people.

Today’s post is quite an interesting one, believe me it is.

I did something new for this post.

I interviewed a couple of people who have been celibate for some time.

My reason?

I want to let sexually active unmarried people know that life without sex isn’t as bad as they think.

So I’ve gathered short stories of people who have gone/are going through celibacy, their struggles, how they cope “without sex” and the benefits of celibacy in their life.

Let’s get right to it.

For me making a conscious decision to be celibate till I got married was about 3 years ago, before that time I had so many opportunities, the ones I sought out for and the ones I was given on a silver platter. Life for me has been a wild roller coaster; I miss intimacy with a lady, the cuddles, waking up by her side and all that. For me, that is the hardest part of being celibate but the dividends are lovely; I have learnt self control and it has helped in so many areas of my life.

For instance, you meet a lady and she’s all there physically. The bosom and bottoms are perfect with the humility (boys love that) and then you think something might happen and may even want it to happen but you stay low because of your celibacy vow and later find out things about the lady and you just know your celibacy just saved you from a big mess.

I have also learnt to develop healthy relationships especially with the opposite sex and I think that is priceless. There’s a kind of friendship you can only get when you learn to see a lady as a friend and not a sex object to conquer.

Continue reading “LIFE WITHOUT SEX – HOW BAD COULD IT BE? || PART 1”

DOES CELIBACY ENSURE A WONDERFUL SEX LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE? || GUEST POST

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Hey lovelies, so I’ve being thinking…does abstaining from sex guarantee an exceptional sex life when one finally gets married?
Usually this is how we think the whole purity thing should play out, “I waited and kept my heart and legs closed now I am married, let the 50 shades sex life begin..“(Drums rolling) and most people are so disappointed because it never ever happens like that. Then they are wondering if they erred by waiting.
First, there are no guarantees in life. So inadvertently waiting does not and cannot guarantee an exceptional sex life after one has married. I know you are wondering then why wait? Remember this post gave at least 7 reasons why you should wait.
Before we answer the question appropriately, there are a few things I want to bring to your mind. There are a lot of real life stories out there of people who really waited and were sorely disappointed about their sexual experience and some even say they wished they had tested and known if they were compatible. And this is the major basis for the argument against abstinence till marriage movement.
But here is the problem to that argument, human beings are creatures of habit and not experimental beings, meaning you can’t just go around experimenting with different people. Your physiology was not wired that way, rather you take memories with you from every experience and with that you inadvertently find yourself comparing every experience you have and planning for the next experience. That’s why it becomes almost impossible for such people to be faithful (no pun intended) because humans are creatures of habit, so there will always be a comparison and a desire for a new experience.
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Nevertheless, the wait movement has also not been truly honest. It makes it look like you are going to have an amazing sex life, once you just wait. That is crap (excuse my french).
Sexual compatibility takes time and practice, but the beauty in waiting or remaining celibate before the experience is, you get to explore higher vistas of intimacy with someone and enjoy a beautiful journey of discipline and continual learning with that special someone.
I think before two celibate individuals decide to get married they should be willing to sit and talk and be honest with each other. That from the beginning, sex between them is not going to be as exhilarating and erotic like 50 shades (he is not even your Christian) but they are willing to learn and be patient with each other and growing together and that it will take a lot of time.
There is no magic wand that is waved over anyone’s head to have an amazing sex life just because you waited, and usually thinking like that makes it look like the only reason why you waited was for sex, but I think there are other important factors that makes waiting worth it.
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Continue reading “DOES CELIBACY ENSURE A WONDERFUL SEX LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE? || GUEST POST”

8 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE SAYING YES

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When it comes to dating, most people feel shy to ask certain questions. They don’t want to come off as too desperate. They really like the person, so they don’t want to ruin the possibility of a relationship by asking  questions that’ll open up a Pandora’s box. Some are scared of the answers they might receive.

Continue reading “8 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE SAYING YES”